Darwinism of the Brain Cells
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest
buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health
of the whole keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest
members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast
as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all
know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest
and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of
beer eliminates the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a
faster and more efficient machine.
The results of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies
and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and
engineering performance. It also explains why, after a few short
years of leaving university and getting married, most engineers
cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only
those few that stick to the strict regiment of voracious alcoholic
consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved
during their university years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its
technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back
into the pubs! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you
to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that
you could have.
Be all that you can be.