A Day in America 1997


In The News - Edited excerpts from the LA Times.

     Tax Freedom Day has come and gone this week. That's the day we stop working to pay our taxes and start working for ourselves. Personally, I couldn't tell the difference.
     Susie Maroney became the first woman to swim from Cuba to Florida. Well, it was either swim or fly Valuejet. (Cutler Daily Scoop)
     In a survey of frequent fliers, Continental Airlines was rated the best for long flights, second best on short flights, and came in 50th on finding the right airport. Hey, you can't have everything.
     It must be awfully embarrasing for that pilot who landed at the wrong airport. The airport he landed at has been closed since 1958. The good news is, they found tons of lost luggage - that's where it's been going all these years. (Leno)
     The Polish shipyard where the Solidarity union was born is being converted into a discotheque. Who would have guessed disco would outlast communism? (Cutler Daily Scoop)
     Bad news for Frank Gifford - Kathie Lee found out there is no Tuesday Night Football... (Leno)
     IBM was so ecstatic when its computer won the chess match with Kasparopv, executives vowed not to lay anybody off this month.
     Anti liquor ativists are fighting the distilled spirits industry over TV advertising. Hey, everythings for sale these days - it's only a matter of time before Big Bird is replaced by Wild Turkey.
     The famous presidential dog, Checkers, will be reburied at the Richard Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, California. Checkers was able to respond to commands like, "sit," "stay," "roll over," and "eat 18 minutes of tape."
     In Tulsa, Oklahoma, a 90 year old man graduated from a University. He says he's going to move back in with his parents, take a couple of years off... maybe travel... just get his head together... (Leno)
     A young lady in York, Pennsylvania made her prom dress in shop class, out of sheet metal. Kind of a cute idea I guess, but I feel sorry for her date. It's bad enough these days you have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases... now you gotta worry about tetanus too. (Leno)
     The supporting cast of Seinfeld agreed to a contract that will reportedly raise their salaries to $600,000 per episode - that's more than $13 million if they do 22 shows next season. Who do these guys think they are - baseball players?
     Pamela Lee Anderson defended herself in a lawsuit by saying she rejected a script because it contained too many gratuitous sex scenes. She said she changed her mind after she read the script. No one told her there would be a script - she's from Baywatch. They don't have scripts. (Leno)
     The Justice Department says a crackdown on trademark fraud targeting counterfeits of Nike, Calvin Klein and other products has netted 35 indictments. It's pretty easy to tell when you have a fake pair of Nikes on your hands - they say Made in America on the bottom.
     Oxygen bars are opening in Los Angeles, but I don't think this trend is going to catch on here... people are used to their air chunky style.
     Proponents of recreational oxygen say it helps with headaches, fatigue and stress. In fact, they say without breathing oxygen, you could possibly die. (Cutler Daily Scoop)
     And finally, Diet Coke is changing its slogan from, "Just for the Taste of It," to "You Are What You Drink." What does that mean? You are a hodgepodge of chemicals not normally found in nature? (Cutler Daily Scoop)